


It's Not A Party Until Somebody Gets Stabbed

by platonic_boner



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: A little bit of violence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Kiss, Fluff, Hate to Love, M/M, Parkour, Party Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 03:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7082710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/platonic_boner/pseuds/platonic_boner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin and Arthur are mortal enemies, and inviting both of them to Gwen’s birthday party was a horrible idea.</p>
<p>Or: Five party games where Merlin and Arthur competed, and one where they… <em>collaborated</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not A Party Until Somebody Gets Stabbed

**Author's Note:**

> I invited a group of friends over, but only [ironic_boner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironic_boner/pseuds/ironic_boner) came. In an attempt to salvage our very pathetic “party”, we looked up party games to play, but ended up writing this fic instead.

A damper is cast over Gwen’s birthday party when Merlin stabs Arthur with a donkey tail pin.

As Gwaine patches Arthur’s arm up and Leon mops up the blood, Gwen sidles over to Morgana. “You said playing party games would make Merlin and Arthur be civil to one another!” she hisses.

“Mmm, I thought they probably would,” Morgana says. She’s watching Arthur glower and bleed with a huge grin on her face. “But to be honest, I was sort of hoping for this outcome.”

“Morgana!” Gwen snaps.

“Is everyone ready for the next game?” Morgana asks brightly, picking up a large paper bag for some reason.

“I think we’ve all had enough!” Gwen’s voice is uncontrollably high with tension. She’d wanted to celebrate her twentieth birthday with _all_ of her friends. She’d hoped that Merlin and Arthur could put aside their dislike of one another for _one night_ , as they’re both adults and should be able to exhibit a modicum of maturity. Apparently she was very wrong.

“Oh, no,” Arthur says loudly. He’s replying to Gwen, but glaring solely at Merlin as he speaks. “I’m just getting started.”

Gwen drops her head into her hands as Morgana explains how to play [bite the bag](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfBREu0rHXw).

***

Arthur’s dizzy with blood loss. That’s his explanation for how bad he is at bite the bag. Also, it’s a horrible game anyways. Who wants to be good at bending over on one foot and picking up a paper bag with your teeth? If you _were_ good at that, you’d be pretty pathetic, right? Like Merlin, for example. 

He’s going head to head with Gwaine right now, as everyone else has been eliminated. Arthur has never seen anything more ridiculous. Merlin’s eyes are squeezed tight with concentration and his butt is waggling and he keeps hopping around like a one-legged chicken.

Although, even though it _is_ an absurd game, Arthur would like to strongly object to Merlin potentially winning it. Merlin is fundamentally the worst person Arthur knows, and Arthur would like to keep him from any sort of victory.

Arthur picks up the bloody pin that Merlin used to stab him with.

As Gwaine crows in victory and Merlin steps up to take his own turn, Arthur edges over towards the purple balloons in the corner. Just as Merlin is crouched down - precariously balanced - Arthur stabs a balloon.

Everyone jumps at the loud _pop_. Merlin startles so badly he pitches forwards and faceplants into the bag. He isn’t the first one to do this, but he’s the first one to come back up with a bloody nose.

Arthur smirks in victory. His arm suddenly feels much better. 

***

Gwaine misses the start of the next game because he’s washing _more_ blood off his hands. Merlin’s, this time. He’s starting to think he should be charging for his services as a nurse at this party.

Gwaine’s known Merlin for their entire lives, and he’s never seen him act like this with anyone except Arthur. Nobody’s ever earned this much rivalry or open dislike from Merlin that Gwaine can remember. Even _Gwaine_ doesn’t know what started it, if anything. For all he knows, they just don’t like each other’s faces. (That’s highly unlikely, though. Arthur is exactly Merlin’s type.)

Gwen has made a huge mistake with the party games, Gwaine thinks. Pitting Merlin and Arthur against each other was a horrible idea. Putting Morgana in control of it was also an error, as she’s making everything worse and Gwaine has no doubt it’s intentional.

The goal of the current game, which Gwaine is highly glad to be missing out on, is to be the first to eat five cherries. The tricks are that Morgana’s tied everyone’s hands behind their backs, and that each contestant’s cherries are buried in a pile of whipped cream.

Percival has eaten all of his whipped cream and left out all five cherries in a neat row. “I hate cherries,” he confides to Gwaine.

Gwaine wipes a bit of whipped cream off the tip of Percival’s nose and eats it. “Who’s winning?” he asks.

“Merlin and Arthur are tied at four.”

Gwaine probably could’ve guessed that from how they’re both diving voraciously into the whipped cream on their plates.

Gwaine snacks on Percival’s cherries as they watch Merlin and Arthur lick their way through the whipped cream towards victory. Finally, Arthur shouts and emerges with a cherry between his teeth.

Merlin redoubles his efforts as Arthur slowly, tauntingly rips the stem off the cherry with his teeth and chews it.

“Best cherry I’ve ever eaten,” he says around the mouthful.

Which is when Merlin finds his last cherry.

Arthur doesn’t have time to spit out his pit and win, because Merlin snaps up his cherry, tips his head back, and swallows. Stem and pit and all. Completely unchewed. He opens his mouth to prove it’s gone down, then leans forwards into Arthur’s space and yells, “HA!”

Gwaine hopes that Arthur’s fury made that worth it for Merlin, because he’s pretty sure that his friend’s going to be uncomfortable for a little while. Indeed, Merlin cuts his bragging short to surreptitiously beat his chest a few moments later. 

Gwaine fetches him a glass of water.

***

Merlin didn’t want to play Blind Man’s Bluff, because it’s absurd to play a game based on blindly identifying people with such a small and diverse group. His objections just spurred Morgana on, but he’d still like to point out that he did everything he possibly could to _avoid_ being in this situation.

It’s not like he _wanted_ Arthur to be gently gripping his shoulder and running his fingers through Merlin’s hair. He definitely isn’t _enjoying_ having Arthur’s hand trail gently down his face and trace along his cheekbones. Nope, Merlin is not having a surprisingly good time at all.

The hand along his cheekbone stills and leaps to his ear. Arthur gently traces the shell of it, and Merlin holds his breath.

Then Arthur sharply tugs on his ear. He’s grinning viciously from behind the scarf over his face and eyes. 

“This is Merlin,” he announces. “Nobody else has ears this ugly.”

_Well._ Merlin has never been so insulted in…about five minutes, but still.

He kicks Arthur in the shin. Arthur doesn’t see it coming, so Merlin’s foot connects perfectly. Arthur howls satisfyingly.

***

If Percival were Merlin, he would _not_ have chosen to call “goose” on Arthur.

Merlin was very being very sensible in avoiding being chased by Arthur throughout their game of duck duck goose. But then he went and ruined it when Arthur goaded him.

Merlin glances over his shoulder and shrieks with terror when he sees how close Arthur is. He’s too far away to dive for the gap in the circle. Instead, he veers away from the circle entirely.

“Merlin! What are you _doing_ ,” Gwaine yells.

Merlin sprints down the hall of Gwen and Morgana’s apartment. Arthur gives chase. Everyone hears a bang as the door slams shut behind them. 

There’s a few moments of silence.

“They’ll probably be back,” Gwaine says.

“At least, one of them will be.” Morgana smiles.

It’s about two minutes before they hear a scraping sound in one of the bedrooms, and then Merlin charges out and slides into the empty space in the circle. Percival’s impressed.

“Did you come up the _fire escape_?” Gwaine demands.

Merlin’s panting too hard to answer.

“We don’t _have_ a fire escape,” Gwen says.

Arthur bursts back into the apartment via the front door. “Scaling the building is not part of the rules!”

***

Morgana’s plan for the night has not yet panned out, but she’s not worried. She has an endless list of party games that she’s confident will eventually force events to occur as she wants them to.

Right now, she’s making her puppets play musical chairs. For bonus amusement, she’s added a new rule: they can sit on each other, so long as nobody is touching the floor.

She takes away one of the three remaining chairs and pauses “What Makes You Beautiful” at _just_ the right moment. Percival lands on one chair with Gwaine and Leon on top of him. Arthur sits on the other, and Merlin leaps into his lap.

The Percival/Gwaine/Leon tower is wobbling precariously, and Gwen is laughing at them, but Morgana’s focused on Merlin and Arthur.

Arthur’s trying to shove Merlin off of him, which means that Merlin’s clinging to him with all four limbs in an effort to stay there. Their faces are very close together, which Morgana notes a second before they do.

A look passes between them, and then - _finally_ \- they’re kissing.

Morgana feels like she should take a bow.

The human tower on the other chair topples over. Merlin and Arthur take no notice and go right on shoving their tongues down each other’s throats. (Which is a little gross to watch, Morgana thinks, but at least it’s an improvement on them trying to rip out each other’s throats.)

The laughter and groans from the boys on the floor slowly dies out as they each take in Merlin and Arthur’s … activities.

“Well, if we’re doing that,” Gwaine says, and leaps onto Percival mouth first.


End file.
